i have these moments alone at home. i’ll be in my apartment all alone watching some beautiful music video and just weeping.. and i’ll think back to my little self as a kid in the forest and think to myself, ‘this is exactly what i would have envisioned my grown up self doing..’ i think that little version of me would like the life i’ve created. i’m still withdrawn in all the ways i think i was as a kid. i like to be alone. i like absorbing beauty in all it forms in safe spaces where i can really process it all.

i don’t think i would have ever thought id be living the life i am now tho as that kid. i was so afraid of life. and now, im here in one of the biggest cities in the world.. i’ve done so many things creatively and professionally i never could have imagined. i just want to keep making myself proud. i want to keep being happy.

most times it’s so hard to be alive. i’ve always felt that way, since i can remember. but i’m here. i’m doing it. i’ve lived. and i’m so proud of the life i’ve lived.