there are certain instances in life when what is really true about the world comes smashing into your small, naive existence and suddenly you see things for the ugly, unmerciful things they are. people aren’t always who they seem. things don’t always go the way you expect. i’ve been seeing so much good in the world lately that maybe i was due a little reality check. i can’t blame myself too much for my innocence sometimes. i grew up in a world where trustworthiness was assumed. i’ve been conditioned to see the best in people.

sometimes there is no ‘best’ in people. sometimes their worlds have been so fucked up that all they know are those dark corners where they fought to stay alive. people hide. people lie. people hurt. but my being reminded of all this has renewed my ability to recognize truth. and in turn i’ve had my eyes keenly opened to the beauty of the innocence left in the world; that childlike wonder that exists in all of us before we ever have to experience the pains of living and growing.

life is beautiful and fucked all at the same time. and i’m starting to think that maybe it’s our ideals in life that keep us from drowning in the reality of what is real. or maybe i still have a little bit of innocence left in me still..

either way, it’s a mad mad world.