the smoking forest.

one last drawing before i send my sketchbook away.. 

today i smoked a cigarette on my bed, the windows of my room wide open as the sun started it’s slow decent into the sea. i wasn’t thinking about anything except the slow escape of smoke from the edge of my lips, the way it wrapped itself around the air, being pulled gently into oblivion. i’ve always wanted to do that. there’s something sexy about it; something sort of liberating in it. i couldn’t try to explain to you why it is, but it is. it was everything i ever hoped and imagined it would be. so, there’s that.

there was spilled ketchup in the elevator today. it was splattered quite lovely on the floor, and up the sides of the walls below the buttons. it smelled. but there wasn’t anything i could do about it once the ride began. a box of buttons and splattered ketchup. “L”. that’s my stop.

i walked behind a man wearing ‘aqua de gio’ by giorgio armani on my way to lunch today. i knew it was aqua de gio because that scent has made me crazy since the 9th grade. the first boy i ever liked wore it. i think if heaven were to smell like anything, it would be aqua de gio by giorgio armani. i could have followed that man around for the remainder of the day. but i don’t know this man, he just smells good. did you know that perfume contains squid.. stuff? pants told me this. if they put it in perfume, it would only make sense that they might put it in cologne as well. just sayin’.

starbucks is an american travesty. that is why today i decided to go to one and not buy anything. i just made myself at home. i found a wonderful table in the shade among the trees and kicked my feet up. i took my magazine to read, my tunes to listen to and my dr. pepper to drink. dr. pepper, by the by, is unavailable here thus making it even more of a travesty. i was reading the latest ‘cosmopolitan’, which i found at work. unbeknownst to me, this magazine is largely about sex, beauty, and well.. sex. really, its just about sex. for instance, the cover, which i clearly failed to even look at beforehand, is riddled with the following taglines: “the blended orgasm”, “your gyno’s secret thoughts about your sex life”, “crazy-ass moves he wants you to do to him”, “what makes a man fall in love”, and topped off with one for safety: “5 places sexual predators look for women” and for the one-two punch in big orange letters: “YOU SEX GODDESS!” a number of thoughts enter my mind after reading these. for one, i don’t like the idea of gyno’s thinking about thier patients sex lives.. not to mention ‘secretly’. i admit i would like to know what makes a man fall in love, but then i imagine it is as much of a mystery to him as it is to me. now lets talk about ‘crazy-ass moves’. anything that uses the term ‘crazy-ass’ deserves some props. so i give props. and lastly, how nice of the powers at be to state so boldly the goddess like abilities of all it’s readers. and i thank you. huh. cosmopolitan. quite the read, that magazine. that too, along with starbucks, is now an american travesty.

i was talking to a woman today who started smoking because she had the hots for this good looking man she worked with. he would go out for a smoke break everyday at 10 and 2. ten minutes everyday and she’d have him all to herself… if only she smoked. that was five years ago. one and a half of those years was occupied by him. and their newly shared smoke. before i could hear the rest of her story her cigarette reached its end. she had to go. i’ve never been more convinced that i should become a smoker.

its what i said. that last paragraph was a complete fabrication. well maybe not a complete one. but a partial one, because it did indeed take place inside my head. my head is filled with words. my head is filled with many eyes, and sometimes i don’t know which ones to look out of.

ce la vie.